“…Nobody can afford to look around and wait for somebody else to do what he is loath to do himself….” I see many suffer from the effects of the trauma of living in this time and place. I am learning a new exercise to get relief from the energy that my PTSD has over me. I know how much the PTSD inhibits me. I am very aware of my inability to function in the world like I used to. My ego has been destroyed in the sense of my achievements of the past were only based on my ego needing to perform the tasks I did to realize a certain sense of self. I have also come to realize that the journey of the last five years, into the abyss called depression, was partially put in front of me to make me realize, after being brought to my knees and being overwhelmed by the shame that I have been running from my whole life that we are suffering with as a culture.
It is not just me. I sat in my favorite meeting this morning and heard a lot of my buddies sharing. What I noticed was that many of us, some of us with over twenty years of sobriety, are at best being able to be okay with the sadness and anger that comes about as a result of living in this culture at this time.
“…As nobody knows what he could do, he might be bold enough to ask himself whether by any chance his unconscious might know something helpful, when there is no satisfactory conscious answer anywhere in sight.” I look around and see that those who are supposed to teach us to be those who help the culture heal are just as dominated by the effects of the mass PTSD we all are carrying.
I see first hand the effect of mass mindedness even in those who are charged with helping us heal ourselves from the brokenness we all think we carry. I see those charged with leading us out of the abyss of addiction and PTSD who are triggered by their own trauma avoidance mechanisms and who act out of that pain.
The disorder and chaos we accept as normal, exemplified by the means of communication we deal with today, the 24 hour news and entertainment cycles we live with today, is nothing more than another form of addiction we use to get relief from the pain we consciously and unconsciously carry.
There is a painful process of trying to make sense of those feelings inside when done by using other practices than cognitive therapy. Our human nature is one of getting our needs met. We need love and acceptance. If we dont get it, we then try to use other things to over come that lack of love and acceptance.
Our pathology comes out of the traumas we experience. I use that term, pathology, in the singular and the collective. When we start to see that there needs to be a way to deal with and express that pathology in a way that is supportive and nurturing, we will hopefully start taking better of our self and our selves.
However, if we continue to see the world through the cognitive separation from the mythical, magical aspects of the world which have been with us forever, we will need to get relief from that dis-integration over and over and over.