Reaching Fanatic

10524686_10204197707411535_290896542299414182_nReaching out
I beg of you to take my hand
I am drifting
I am lost
The chaos of my mind
Antagonizes
The words and sentiment I whisper to myself
Are nothing but hatred and disgust
I am everything wrong
10171639_848806071803122_213436708196433507_nThere is no space for me
No safe place for me
I search for the key
To let you in my chamber
But keep the door closed for protection
From who
From me and
from you
I am so afraid for you to peer into me
Know my broken insides
Truly see and hear my pain
10526190_663600817069374_629758397495937339_nYet I am so desperate to feel heard
To feel I matter
I belong
I have something to offer
Instead I retreat
Hide the key
Sit at the river alone
Pieces of glass pressed to my wrist
Relief never comes
So much confusion
10325552_663602220402567_4973155706202160451_nSo much desperation
I’ve lost sight as to how I fit
Into this big world
I suit up
Show up
And put on a show
All the while
I am dying on the inside
10526038_663870803709042_5332401051197838708_nI’ve played this game for awhile
Until overwhelm sets in
I cry in the darkness
I slowly shut people out
And implode

123 RV, SA, PA, PH, TL , SA , RW, JZ, JV!

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3 thoughts on “Reaching Fanatic

  1. Wow. That is depression in words. I have/suffer from manic-depression, and have for quite some time. You just did something amazing with your words,

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