” … but everyone’s pretending they are.”The discussion this quote came out of was how we are all acting like we know how we are supposed to live our lives, but yet when it comes right down to it, we dont! Why do we keep the facade up? I know less about living than I ever have. What does that statement mean? I was reading something yesterday that said some of us at times learn that everything we know is a lie. Everything we have been told about how we are supposed to live is untrue. What I am learning is that cold, distant emotionally unavailable way of life that I accepted as normal was not normal. I was losing because I was unwilling to live in a way with others that was vital.
It is amazing how much we unconsciously carry the norm imprinted on us without even knowing it. I am no exception to that rule. I think I am just now learning that I was unconscious and operating out of a place that contained a lack of integrity with my self.
Yesterday I wrote about how men are not living out of their libido. I am sure that many people equate the term libido with sexual aggression. But it isnt just about sexual energy. Jung calls it “vital energy.” But because unconsciously many of us see libido as only related to sex, I am sure that there was a hesitation for some about the meaning of the post. I want to live a life that is vital, full of the energy that makes those moments we remember more likely to occur
“Willingness to invest in relationship that may or may not work out.” This is what depression took away from me. I started pulling back from life when I saw that I was not getting my way! It is that simple. Why if it is so simple did it happen? I dont know the answer to this one. I dont.
Now I am more willing to say what I think and express how I feel. I kinda think I have training wheels on, but that may be a result of me still holding onto the fear of being afraid to fail.
“Hope is a function of struggle and it’s the product of not tying our failure to who we are.”Man does this mess with my reality. How could this be. It is because I have always been measured by what you said and thought about me. I was always externally oriented in my way of perceiving my value.
“We are chasing down worthiness.” Listen to the sentence. I am chasing down something I cant measure and therefore I cant make concrete.
But when I listen to people in meetings and read what some of you beautiful people write, I think there is a commonality that we share. That we are looking for something that does not exist and if it does, it is not outside of us.
All quotes from Brene Brown
123 RV, SA, RW, JZ, PA, PH, LG, DR, JW