“We got the rules, and no ones doing it…”

walkingalone_2” … but everyone’s pretending they are.”The discussion this quote came out of was how we are all acting like we know how we are supposed to live our lives,  but yet when it comes right down to it, we dont!  Why do we keep the facade up?   I know less about living than I ever have.  What does that statement mean?  I was reading something yesterday that said Inside Orionsome of us at times learn that everything we know is a lie.  Everything we have been told about how we are supposed to live is untrue.  What I am learning is that cold, distant emotionally unavailable way of life that I accepted as normal was not normal.  I was losing because I was unwilling to live in a way with others that was vital.

walk alone forestIt is amazing how much we unconsciously carry the norm imprinted on us without even knowing it.  I am no exception to that rule.  I think I am just now learning that I was unconscious and operating out of a place that contained a lack of integrity with my self.

Yesterday I wrote about how men are not living out of their libido.  I am sure that many people equate the term libido with Aspens and Fence - Jackson Hole, Wyomingsexual aggression.  But it isnt just about sexual energy.  Jung calls it “vital energy.” But because unconsciously many of us see libido as only related to sex, I am sure that there was a hesitation for some about the meaning of the post. I want to live a life that is vital, full of the energy that makes those moments we remember more likely to occur

“Willingness to invest in relationship that may or may not work out.”  This is what depression took away from me.  I started pulling back from life when I saw that I was not getting my way!  It is that simple.  Why if it is so simple did it cf044768-0d66-4593-afe4-a18a5e3fdd3a-6387-00000665099292a3_zps6569f11ahappen? I dont know the answer to this one.  I dont.

Now I am more willing to say what I think and express how I feel.  I kinda think I have training wheels on, but that may be a result of me still holding onto the fear of  being afraid to fail.

“Hope is a function of struggle and it’s the product of not tying our failure to who we are.”Man does this mess with my reality.   How could this be.  It is because I have always been measured by what you said and thought about me.  autumn-coloursI was always externally oriented in my way of perceiving my value.

“We are chasing down worthiness.” Listen to the sentence.  I am chasing down something I cant measure and therefore I cant make concrete.

But when I listen to people in meetings and read what some of you beautiful people write, I think there is a commonality that we share.  That we are looking for something that does n2359Thor_mazlin900not exist and if it does, it is not outside of us.

All quotes from Brene Brown

123 RV, SA, RW, JZ, PA, PH, LG, DR, JW

wolf yosemite

finger touching nose of baby

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6 thoughts on ““We got the rules, and no ones doing it…”

  1. “That we are looking for something that does not exist and if it does, it is not outside of us.”

    This particularly struck me. This past week I’ve been hearing a lot of folks talking about how god did this or that for them, almost as if in answer to a need or a prayer. This “vending machine” concept of a higher power ( prayer in, miracle out ) is something I carried for years and is still difficult to shed. When I meditate I try to enter that dark inner room that is deep within me. In order to do that I acknowledge the presence and action of an indwelling spirit and set an intention to let go of the desire for control, security and affection while I sit quietly. Over the course of some years I believe I’ve experienced a measure of healing by following this practice.

    I still have great difficulty with prayer, as I have a tendency to want to fall into the old habit of bargaining with an imaginary external power, offering up something not mine to give in order to obtain something beyond my reach.

    • Marco,
      I think that is why we need to continue to act as if we know how to live. If I truly told those around me that I was doing “lets make a deal,” with the Ggods, then a 5150 hold would be in my near future.
      But we go into situations where we have a wonderful opportunity to say I dont know, I dont trust and can someone really tell me how I do this thing called life. I dont know about you but I have learned from experience that I will not usually be well received.
      It is the not the ones who I dont know who will affect me with their usually indirect negating, but those who profess to be there “for me.”
      This is a tough issue, this acceptance of people without any judgment. A couple of people emailed me privately critiquing my discussion about libido. I accept it and understand it and see how it could be interpreted that way.
      The biggest struggle in communicating is agreeing to what words mean, “Ggod,” “mediation,” “prayer,” “libido,” but it is hard when there is an “accepted” way of understanding which may not be the way the speaker is using the word.
      Thanks for the depth of your comment.
      Jim

      • You’ve got it. Sit down to life as if it were an open operating system. Don’t pretend you know anything just apply what is needed in each situation as it comes up in your own unique way without sacrificing who you are as a person. When you stop trying to “control it” life becomes a grand adventure with something unique happening every day. Just open your hand and listen. Act instead of reacting. It takes practice, but to me it’s worth it. Even when we have to fight through our own personal hells. Anyway, that’s what I do. Hope I helped.

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