“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one…”

fort-bourtange-groningen-netherlands-jan-koster“…but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”

Why is it that I find myself in places in life where I think that what is going on is “bad,” or something is so “wrong” with me so  that I truly must be defective.

If what Jung says is true, then I have not been able to communicate with you what is important to me or my views are such that they would be so far out from the “norm,” that I would be criticized, shunned, made to be 1546025_10151845590171426_728336535_nan outcast for my views.

Since there are two potential reasons for the “loneliness,” I am experiencing, I think I will address them one at a time.

First what am I unable to communicate that which is important to me.  Could it be about my family situation?  Could it be that I am lost in the dragonfly-21world in many ways?

What is important to me today?  When I get silent and sit with that idea I see my friends who suffer.  I see them as they pace the floor, or run on the trail trying to get away from them self. My friends whose daily life is one of pain, confusion, chronic discomfort which surely includes an unhealthy does of fear.  I see my self “wandering,” aimlessly in the world.  What is it that we seek?  Connection, being a part of, contributing to the greater good, feeling better?

I was having a discussion yesterday and the idea of my writing came up.  It is only in finding the aesthetic value in the world, maple-tree-stouffville-ontario-fallenflowersin the world of image and a connection to that place that we all have or had at one time where we get relief.  That place that was alive in us where we found a way to be, where we feel like there is a common thread that exists in and for all of us. A place where we can express our pathology without risk of retribution, condemnation, shame!

As I learn, go down the path of knowledge of the dis-ease I suffer with, I see that it is only in sharing the discomfort that I feel a connection to those around me.  Why is it not in the sharing of joy that I feel a connection to those who are here also.  Is it hues-of-naturebecause of those experiences in life which began my journey of armoring myself so much that I would not be able to experience any of those things that bring laughter.  The skipping down the street, the throwing of a ball, the sight of a fish on my fishing pole.   The armor that I have created is that thing which keeps me alive yet kills me in a way that makes it so being alive is arduous.  Not worthless but a task.

So what do I do?  I really dont have an answer but as I write this I am led back to the beginning of this writing and it shows me that it is only in the world of image, or myth, that there is relief.

image-1What is my charge then knowing this?  I dont have an answer at 6:17 in the morning for this.  What I know is that when I am lost, when I am scared, the best thing I can do is do something that is right in front of me, to do the ritual of life, and then usually the feeling or thought dissipates and there is room for that which is different, that moment which may have more room for hope, for joy, than that which just passed.

Carl Jung; Memories Dreams and Reflections; Page 356.


RIP Jon, Robin, Ajaytao, Jason, who were my Brothers under the Bridge



4 thoughts on ““Loneliness does not come from having no people about one…”

  1. Sometimes analyzing ourselves too much is not a good thing. The other problem is that internet content pressurizes everybody to compare themselves with other people. That’s just wrong, because we don’t have to measure our success or depth of despair with somebody else. We are unique, and we must work with what we have, what we are given and use it in our favor. There is place and fit for everything: rose, snowdrop, garden weeds, sunflower and violet. Nobody blames garden weed that it doesn’t have the blooms of a rose. It doesn’t have to. Basically, we have to work onto our own plans, not those ones what somebody else believes are important. To be alive itself is a very good thing. To have ability to see, hear, sense is awesome. Pain is very necessary mechanism for our survival. There are rare people who cannot feel the pain which is our most important warning signal, and they cannot survive because of that. Every single issue, problem, event, plan, thought, concern has two sides. We just have to choose the best for us. You could probably write a daily self-explanation and exploration diary with setting some goals like describing what made you feel best within that day (cup of tea, view through the window, weather, scene, something on the table, etc). You could also evaluate daily experiences above and below the zero line which is neutral feelings. Then you attach mark to everything +10 or -10, that way you’ll see what triggers your worst experiences and therefore you can avoid them in the future. That way you will be comparing yourself to yourself in different settings.

      • Well. I just sort of throw myself into something simple. Like a sink full of dishes. I focus on feeling the warm water on my hands and the slipperiness (Yes I know that’s not a word) of the soap.

        When I’m outside, I make it a point to look for birds, I look at the shape of the trees and exactly what color they are, even down to different shades of green.

        I actually just let my mind run without trying to capture any thoughts until I have regained my sense of calm and peace again.

        Now, mind you, it doesn’t always work,but the more I practice it, the more it does work.

        Hope I helped.

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