“To love someone else is easy,…”

10349157_10204471369565137_6707722759914875666_n“…but to love what you are, the thing that is yourself, is just as if you were embracing a glowing red-hot iron: it burns into you and that is very painful.”  To truly love me,  I have to embrace those sides of me that people dont like.  I have to embrace that side of me that can cut people to the quick with one sentence.  I have to embrace that side of me that is pathological.  That side of me that  just doesn’t give a shit in a lot of ways. That  side of me that is out for retribution and wants to hold people responsible for their harm to me and others.  Why do I need to do that, to love that part of me?  For me, in this moment, it is because I am tired of having that struggle that shame creates.  The 10325552_663602220402567_4973155706202160451_nstruggle of me not being perfect and not being the nicest, most humble, gracious, genuflecting person the Ggods have ever seen.

“Such a thing (suicide) is possible only when there is a detachment of the soul from the body.” It is a conflict that unless one has experienced it, it is incomprehensible.  My friend Therese Borchard wrote an article that is very timely if you read the last post on this site. The link is below.

The quotes above presenting an interesting juxtaposition.  10347232_10201917599660507_5224584867827727870_nAcceptance and love in contrast to such self-loathing that life does not have any value any longer. But for many who suffer from “emotional health,” issues such as depression, this is in many ways a reality.  I know for me that there is a self loathing when the dis-ease is influencing the way I see the world.

This is a difficult issue for people who dont suffer with the dis-eases that many of us do.  It is compounded for those of us who have the dis-ease and know that many others dont understand. We get isolated, yes on our own, because we 10312474_785985181440900_5662887777018086031_ncan only take so many of those self help suggestions from those who dont suffer like we do.

123 RV, SA, JW, PA, JZM, RW, PH, JV, TL, TS

Quotes by Carl Jung

http://thereseborchardblog.com/2014/12/02/what-suicidal-depression-feels-like-2/comment-page-1/#comment-15802

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5 thoughts on ““To love someone else is easy,…”

  1. Great post. I agree, it’s very difficult to understand. Never experienced anything like that. I believe other people have to suppress the feeling of loving themselves too much in order to be able to love somebody else. I know from clinical studies (I’ve been dealing with research for some 30 years) that self-loathing mostly was characteristic for schizophrenia. I was not aware it can be present to such a degree in depression, as well. It’s pretty obvious that depression requires specific cure and treatment, and that is not always the same for everybody. I wish you luck and strength, and I hope you could at least pick up some coloring or simply painting out your emotions. I have seen how that has helped because when doing this, anybody is alone, and that is in one’s favor because it’s possible to detach oneself from any disturbing ideas.

  2. I hear you loud and clear, and struggle with this myself and think anyone with a mental illness suffers from self-loathing at various points, if not consistently. You are still in my prayers. xx Ellen

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