A Simple Fanatic!

the_colours_of_the_peacockA simple life. Is that possible? I don’t ask for much, never have. I’m shy and quiet. My brother once remarked that I don’t talk very much. I think it’s because I spend too much time in my head. When I first met my dear friend I used to get so nervous to open up to him. Either I called him or he called me, I can’t remember, but I was literally shaking. It was incredibly hard for me to share my struggles as I had kept them hidden for so long. My love affair w alcohol was all too apparent. But the state of my mind I kept quiet.
weeds-sunsetFor a while I attended a depression in sobriety meeting. It was a safe place to be real w mental health issues.  This is where I met my dear friend.  It’s odd but I hit a meeting that I don’t normally attend and I sat down next to him. I leaned over and said I hear there is a depression meeting. Of course he invited me. It was synchronistic.
tranquil-dawn-twilight-blues-ajaytaoIt’s unfortunate how quiet I can be when the mental anguish takes over. I do have a support system, I can’t seem to use it. I remember when I was a teenager we had to move as my dad was in the Air Force. It was in the middle of the desert and the ugliest place in the world. When I tried to share with my mom how much I hated it there she shut me down. She would not let me express my feelings.

finger-touching-nose-of-babyIn essence she told me to buck up and my father works hard to provide for us.  Well that wasn’t even in question, my dad’s workaholic nature. Anyway I think this scenario plays a huge part in my inability to communicate when I hurt.
You’d think it would be so simple. Call up a friend for a support. I sure hope one day I will be able to do this. Meanwhile if you are reading this I hope you can reach out to your support network. You never know maybe they are having a bad day and your    voice can soothe their soul.

Please visit a wonder full blog at stigmama.com

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2 thoughts on “A Simple Fanatic!

  1. Breaking down the silence barrier and connecting with what troubles us the most is huge. I can appreciate how difficult this must have been and take courage from your achievement.

  2. I can relate because I come from a family where we did not talk about “things.” The more painful, the more tight lipped we were expected to be. Good for you for reaching out. Sometimes that can be the hardest thing to do, when you need it most.

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