I’m grateful that I saw the quote and angry that I feel it and the void I am feeling right now.I am struggling today. I have been struggling for the last week. I feel like I’m catatonic in some sense and thank the Ggods for my one wonderful friend who but for him being there I probably wouldn’t talk to any other human being this week if it didn’t have to do with something about business
One of the aspects of abuse is the loss of the ability to think imaginatively and to live life with and from those wonder full images. Because of the almost brainwashing that PTSD creates, I struggle to imagine the beauty in the world at times. I look out at a mountain I have seen my whole life and I see it is as form and not so much as mystery as I used to see it to be.
“For what has been spoiled by the father can only be made good by a father, just as what has been spoiled by the mother can only be repaired by a mother. The disastrous repetition of the family pattern could be described as the psychological original sin.” . I feel sad for those people who I ran into in my life who worked really hard to try to make our relationship better. I have almost always, when I am not living consciously, put people into positions where they were representative of the images and memories of my youth. I think when you struggle in youth to make relationships that work and are loving and supportive, it is more difficult to have relationships in adulthood.
“Man cannot stand a meaningless life.”This is the part that scares me the most. I feel because of my depression, that I have and continue to live a life without meaning. I honestly dont know what a life with meaning would look like right now.
I really need some courage to truly live the life I was put here to live.
 Aristotle  Carl Jung  Carl Jung
123 RV, PA, SA, RW, JW