“The little world of childhood with its familiar surroundings is….”

keukenhof-lisse-netherlands “….a model of the greater world.” When I was younger I used to think that everyone’s life was the same as mine.  I knew that some of my friends had more material stuff than I did.  However, I still thought that their parents were the same as my parents. There was a friend of mine, Marlena,  whose Dad was a big shot at a big corporation.  My Dad would garden for them on the weekends and they had a house that was huge.  But I also remember that Marlena suffered as a child.  She was withdrawn and sullen and always looked sad.  I knew she was not happy, but I just thought there was something wrong with her.

kinkaku-ji-temple-kyoto-japanI remember the times my best friend, Norman, who lived next door to me from first through sixth grade,  would hint about what transpired in his house when no one was there but his family.  He would comment about the tension that was in his house, but he never came right out and said anything about what happened because we both knew the rule of you never spoke to outsiders about what happened in your house.  You never called your parents out on their abuse. You didnt tell your teachers.  So he, like me, carried that inner conflict of what was happening in his house which was harming him, but like me, he could not tell anyone about it.

exploring-new-zealand-trey-ratcliff“The more intensively the family has stamped its character upon the child, the more it will tend to feel and see its earlier miniature world again in the bigger world of adult life.” Oh my Ggod did I use to know that this was true. I would drink with people like me.  When we would get drunk we would share the stories of the chaos and insanity of our belief system, but always did it in a way which would minimize it’s effect on us.  I would proudly say that I did not turn out like them, even though I was drinking every weekend in a bar when I was old enough and drinking like they did when I was in high school.  I thought because I smoked pot that I was different than they were.  Little did I know that I was trying to mitigate the emotional pain just like they were.

20140227-143918.jpg“Naturally this is not a conscious, intellectual process.”Here is where Einstein’s statement that we have made the intuitive self a slave to the rational self is flushed out.  We intuitively know what happened to us.  We were harmed psychologically and emotionally.  But we learn that what we feel isn’t who we are.  It is said in the rooms of AA now! The pedagogy of my childhood gets continued on in the present.   It is not something that I talk about normally, because I know I cant  change it by convincing people of the harm we continue to do by what we say to each other and how we say it.

Quotes by Carl Jung

123 RV, SA, PA, JW, RW!

finger touching nose of baby

 

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3 thoughts on ““The little world of childhood with its familiar surroundings is….”

  1. Yes I understand this. Awareness and understanding does not make it easier to change. I adore the first pic in here, so magical and lovely. I have the strongest desire to walk in that stream and stand inside that structure and look through the glass. I love when things seem out of place, but like they also belong there too.

    • The comment that you would like to “stand inside that structure and look through the glass.” What a wonderful metaphor for taking all of the psychic energy we have which as you say “Awareness and understanding does not make it easier to change,” and transform it by being in that structure. As always I enjoy your comments and insights.
      Jim

  2. As simple as “children learn what they live…” Also – you speak of what Yalom says about groups, which can also be said of families – put a group of people together long enough, and their pathologies will rise to the surface. The dynamic flows onward…

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