If it is not necessarily pathological, as Jung asserts here, then what is it? If you read this blog, you might know my opinion about what lies below my depression: “Very deep, sometimes quite forgotten, damaging emotional conflicts persist below the level of consciousness,”(1) is what I have learned is the underlying energy which is the bases for my depression. Knowing that, what is the way to get relief so that my depression does not run my life like it did.
“This can only be done by consciously regressing along with the depressive tendency and integrating the memories so activated into the conscious mind-which was what the depression was aiming at in the first place.” This is what I have tried to do. But to do this means dealing with the pain that my PTSD is based on. It is not easy but it is necessary.
It is not to look to blame or make responsible any one person for my struggle. That is resentment. It is to deal with the effects of the psychic and emotional change that has come about. Because the person who suffers from my depression is me. Yes others get the externalities of it, but I am the one who struggles to get out of bed on an almost daily basis. I am the one who struggles on many days to like and live with myself. I suffer because the pain associated with the continued depressing of the emotions is harmful to me.
“In many instances we shall find that though the harm done others has not been great, the emotional harm we have done ourselves has…..At the time of these occurrences, they may actually have given our emotions violent twists which have since discolored our personalities and altered our lives for the worse.”(1)
This is where I rely on the Ggods to give me the relief I need and I also pray that there is a reason for this.
“It often foreshadows a renewal of the personality or a burst of creative activity.” I hope that this is the case and I am holding onto this as a reason for continuing down the path of the depths of my depression. I am trusting that there is a reason for this journey. The losses I have experienced are tremendous and at times overwhelming. But I pray that the Ggods have something in store for me that is helpful for others and yes, hopefully hopeful for me.
(1) AA 12 by 12, pp. 79-80 All other quotes from Carl Jung
123 RV, JW, SA, RW, PA