This statement is scary! I have worked hard my whole life to fit in. It doesnt matter to me what my opinion is here, it matters what I do/did then and now. My ideas may be “radical,” but I have always dressed like a country boy. My favorite clothes even today are jeans and a button down flannel or cotton shirt,with the sleeves rolled up.
What I understand by that is even when I was an angry,(according to Renee) pot smoking, wanna be hippy, I was still at some level accepting what was normal for my conservative, we used to call them “red-necks,” peers as far as attire. Is it because I didn’t have the courage to be as flamboyant in my dress as I am outspoken in my opinion? Was it something else? How was/is it related to my emotional struggles? When I look back on pictures of myself, I see that I was not given any opportunity to express myself until I decided to become the rebellious, long haired, juvenile delinquent that I became. My step mom has my senior picture and you can see that I am just emotionally gone. Flat lined. Not even looking into the camera
“[S]o that our fear of being what we really are is partly because we fear the psychopathological aspect of individuality.” If I am truly who I am individually and I dont think I am there yet, then there is a responsibility for all of what I do. I still at some level, as I write this, am learning that there are aspects of my self that I dont like or accept. I am grateful to be able to say this and put it in writing.
Quotes by James Hillman “Re-Visioning. Psychology” p. 55
123 RV, SA, RW, JA.