“Energy not available to consciousness does not simply vanish….”

20131016-213912.jpg I remember when I was a kid and after a traumatic event would occur, I would be given a message, either explicitly, or more likely implicitly, by the actions of those around me, to let go of the emotional charge of the event quickly.  Terms like “get over it,” “when you going to grow up,” and the one I remember the most. “what are you, a sissy?” were stated to me by those I was living with.  Notice I didnt say I was neccessarily told this by my parents.  It was all of those around me, including my siblings.  I dont think they were doing it to be mean to me, I think they were doing it so another traumatic event would NOT occur.  So I learned to stuff it and not “deal with it,”  to not express my for the most part is sadness and fear.  But where did/does this energy go?

perfection-of-the-spider-web-ray-bilcliff“….It regresses and stirs up unconscious contents (fantasies, memories, wishes, etc.) that….”This is what happened to me.  As I am climbing the ladder of economic and professional success, the energy that I had repressed from those traumatic events started working on me.  I was unable to avoid the feelings and I didnt know what to do with them.  I was thinking and acting in ways that were not who I wanted to act and be like.  I was acting in ways towards those closest to me that was not loving and kind.  I was not honest with them and did acts and said things that were harmful to our relationship(s).
locked-doorI couldn’t believe I had attained all of this success and the only things I thought about were acting out my traumas in ways that were not what I truly wanted to do or who I truly wanted to be.  I didnt feel like I could go to people and say some of the things that I had thought and done and still think they were going to accept and love me.  As I write this I feel a tremendous sense of sadness.

napa courthouse“….for the sake of psychological health need to be brought to light and examined.”  Where did the energy go?   I had a conversation with a dear friend yesterday.  His anxiety level was extremely high and he was struggling, physically  as well as emotionally  to hold his emotional energy in.   He said “every part of himself wants to not let his energy out.”
I say this only to recognize that this is the stuff that is killing us.  Repressing our feelings, keeping the energy trapped in our body that needs to come out for us to get relief, leads to “mental illness.”    This is why I argue that the mental health problems we have today are not mental at all.

Quotes by Carl Jung

123 RV, SA, PA, RW, JW

Its about Forgiveness,  really forgiveness for our self.



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