“Let the light of your madness shine..”

Tunnel Yosemite“Be silent and listen: have you recognized your madness and do you admit it?” One of the best things I get from AA is  most of us know we are mad.  Hell, the second step mentions the word sanity! So I dont have an issue with the fact that I am mad when I am in the safety of those rooms.  The problem is when I go out into the world, I think that the people outside of those rooms are somehow sane because they are not in the rooms of AA.  Why is that?  I think it is because we talk about things in meetings that we dont hear being talked about in popular culture.  Plus alcoholism is as stigmatized as “mental health” issues are in this culture.

photo-4“Let the light of your madness shine, and it will suddenly dawn on you.” The hardest thing to come to grips with is the fact that I have this madness.  But if I dont think I do, all I have to do is be really honest with myself.  “Sobriety is what you when no one is watching.”  That is when I know I am truly being honest with my self.  It is not easy.  I have been programmed to lie about everything that is happening in my life.

Like my brother said, we were taught two things. One is never tell people the truth about what is happening and if anyone does ask, tell  them everything  is fine!

“Madness is not to be despised and not to be feared, but instead you should give it life.” I believe that it is my madness volcano_650x366that has allowed me to walk through my depression/anxiety as well as I have.  You cant  know how I was and I would not expect you to.  But if you want to know how better off I am than I was before I was diagnosed, I could not tell you that I was taught to lie about everything.  Now I can!

As Hillman says, “The whole world is sick….and photo-82you can’t put this right by having a good therapeutic dialogue or finding deeper meanings. It’s not about meaning anymore; it’s about survival.” So when I am centered emotionally,  when I am not in fear to such an extent that I am overwhelmed by the world, in my mind as well as out of it, I can say, Whew,  I am as okay as anyone else is I am around.

All quotes by C.G. Jung unless noted.

123 RV, SA!!!   Forgiveness is about acceptance of the madness in myself as well as others.

finger touching nose of baby100_1607


5 thoughts on ““Let the light of your madness shine..”

  1. I wouldn’t be so trigger happy in labelling yourself ‘mad’. What is ‘madness’? Who gets to define it? Are we not all mad to a certain extent? It’s just that some type of ‘crazy’ seem acceptable to society and are sanctioned like sending perfectly healthy and young people to kill and be killed for corrupt and dishonest causes like oil.

    • Please dear friend,
      You need not assume that I label it as a negative. Accepting that part of me that doesnt do those things that it thinks it “should,” do to me is healing. Trying to live up to some sort of presumptive norm is seen as deviant. I think the difference you and I have is how we define those words. I dont see madness as negative. I see it as a need to have an altered state to survive in the world we are in.
      Thanks for your contribution
      Happy Holiday

      • Perhaps not Jim but the outside world and society at large does and stigmatises those living with ‘mental’ illness.

        But I take your point. Happy Holiday to you too. CW

  2. You make me think of some of the crazy stories people share in meetings regarding actions they did while in the throes of their alcoholism. Alcoholics bursting into laughter over stories that would make a non alcoholic cringe. It’s not that we think the actions are so funny as much as we just “get it.”

    • What do we get when we hear those stories of crashing cars, falling off bar stools or losing important things/relationships/etc in our lives? I think it is our madness. A perfect example of “it,” who would knowingly put poison in their body. Only people who need to be restored to sanity. Me!!!!!
      Love you Bradley!

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