“Be silent and listen: have you recognized your madness and do you admit it?” One of the best things I get from AA is most of us know we are mad. Hell, the second step mentions the word sanity! So I dont have an issue with the fact that I am mad when I am in the safety of those rooms. The problem is when I go out into the world, I think that the people outside of those rooms are somehow sane because they are not in the rooms of AA. Why is that? I think it is because we talk about things in meetings that we dont hear being talked about in popular culture. Plus alcoholism is as stigmatized as “mental health” issues are in this culture.
“Let the light of your madness shine, and it will suddenly dawn on you.” The hardest thing to come to grips with is the fact that I have this madness. But if I dont think I do, all I have to do is be really honest with myself. “Sobriety is what you when no one is watching.” That is when I know I am truly being honest with my self. It is not easy. I have been programmed to lie about everything that is happening in my life.
Like my brother said, we were taught two things. One is never tell people the truth about what is happening and if anyone does ask, tell them everything is fine!
“Madness is not to be despised and not to be feared, but instead you should give it life.” I believe that it is my madness that has allowed me to walk through my depression/anxiety as well as I have. You cant know how I was and I would not expect you to. But if you want to know how better off I am than I was before I was diagnosed, I could not tell you that I was taught to lie about everything. Now I can!
As Hillman says, “The whole world is sick….and you can’t put this right by having a good therapeutic dialogue or finding deeper meanings. It’s not about meaning anymore; it’s about survival.” So when I am centered emotionally, when I am not in fear to such an extent that I am overwhelmed by the world, in my mind as well as out of it, I can say, Whew, I am as okay as anyone else is I am around.
All quotes by C.G. Jung unless noted.
123 RV, SA!!! Forgiveness is about acceptance of the madness in myself as well as others.