“Unless both doctor and patient become a problem to each other,…”

flow_water_fall…no solution is found.”[1] This reminds me of James Hillman’s statement of how psychotherapy is no longer effective.  He states that it is because the therapist is not involved enough with the client.

I havent been with a psychotherapist on a regular basis in a long time, but  the ones I did see a couple of times recently, reminded me that what Hillman says is true. They are not willing to be invested with the process but seemed to be more interested in changing behavior.   Their offices were perfect, not a thing out of place.  Well serendipitously, I think I just found something.  Having therapy be a place where we can learn to put everything in order, nothing out of place, so we can find normalcy is counter intuitive.  Seeking normalcy is not what we are put here to do or be.

Learning to be comfortable with myself, not you, is what the goal of life is for me.  Once I am comfortable with me, just to be able to look in the mirror and not be in despair and self loathing is the goal.  It is not to say that I hate myself, it is just that all of the easy-landing-alaskatraumas I have carried my whole life have been brought home to roost.[2]

This post is unusally short for me because I am deep into my schooling.

[1] C.G. Jung [2] See Laura Kerr’s latest article for more information on this issue.  http://www.laurakkerr.com/2013/12/02/trauma-informed-care-versus-biomedical-model/   Laura is one of my favorite writers on “mental health,” issues.

123 RV.  Forgiveness has to begin and end in the mirror.

standing baby100_1608


9 thoughts on ““Unless both doctor and patient become a problem to each other,…”

  1. One on one therapy seemed so hopeless…I always felt worse. When I found my womens group run by an awesome therapist I trusted we worked together for 10 years. Those women became soulmates.

    • I think that is what Hillman talks about when he says we need places where people can express the dis-ease we are all living with. The world of the rational does not lend itself to the depths of the struggles people have in life. If depression is supposed to be increasing by 50% in the next twenty years, it would advantage the world to create vessels, including therapy and other rituals, because me that is all they are, to allow us to express that stuff which is killing us, individually and exponentially, culturally.
      Thank you dear friend!

  2. By the time I was 34, I had seen 4 therapists starting at the age of 15, and they were all useless, they all had an agenda of who or what they thought I was or should be. They did not listen to a word I said and I never stuck around for very long.
    When I was 36 I got lucky and found a Jungian analyst who did listen and we developed a great therapeutic relationship. It changed my life, and I know, I got lucky. He did not have any expectations of what would happen in therapy. He encouraged me to draw, write, dream and he called me out on a lot of life-long assumptions I held onto so tightly because that was all I knew. I was lucky for this experience, I am grateful!
    The world needs to enter the room of therapy because that’s where we all live, and in the crazy times we live in, the world is just as much part of the problem as we are.
    Great post!

  3. Good therapists exist – no, great therapists exist – and can change lives for the better. I know, as I have one, and do my best to be one. We’ll have to agree to disagree on this one…

    • I absolutely agree with you. But why was Hillman saying it was/is not working. The first therapist I had, Erica, who I saw for about the first three years of my sobriety, would give no advice, no direction, no criticism. She didnt enable me either.
      I see the CBT and other methodologies being practiced and I see that as mostly result oriented therapy and not the therapeutic process. I am sure that many, if not most therapists are wonder full.

      • I am sure you have seen it. But others may not have. I put this on our resource page yesterday. I honestly wonder how many therapists are doing this any more.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyCzIU9jPFk The late John O’Donohue talks about the therapy experience. There is an intro of 50 seconds by another gentleman if you want to forward to just Mr. O’Donohue’s words.

      • Ahhh…John O’Donohue. Several of his prayers are under the category “Blessings” on my blog – I love his quiet wisdom. As he mentions, I came to this 2nd career in my life through (John O’Shea’s classification of) ‘Mystery.’ My favorite of his lyrical statements in this clip – “True listening is worship.” I have so found that to be true. Thank you for this heartening resource.

      • My dear friend. If anyone in this world of faceless, touchless, voiceless reality called the blogging world has heartened me, it is has been you.
        I honor what you have brought to my world in your sayings and writings.
        Thank you!

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