I was on the phone today with an attorney and their attitude towards me because I’m not compliant, I’m not flat and I’m not emotionally dead anymore was one of condescension. They were patronizing to me, they were talking down to me, and I could sense this sort of arrogance that they had about about how I was “being irrational” because I wasn’t going along with what they wanted to have happen.
I told this person that because of what their client had done it had caused me distress and that my depression spiked and I wasn’t necessarily going to be so willing to be compliant with their needs to get something done in a certain time period. The attorney said that their client “couldnt have caused your depression,” to spike. It was all I could do to not “blow up,”(see below)and read them the riot act.
Their client caused a significant delay in a contractual matter that we had, and then when they lost in court they then had the tenacity and temerity to say “let’s hurry up and get it done now that it’s been delayed for five days.” I told their attorney on the phone that their client delayed this. Their attorney then said it doesnt matter we need to get it done today. I said no I’ve got a friend who needs my help immediately,( as the leprechaun had serious surgery yesterday,) and because of your clients efforts this delay is taking place so it’s just going to have to wait until Monday.
What I felt was that the attorney had no empathy for the fact that their client’s actions caused me consternation. She blew my feelings off. It was only about what could transpire for her client. The rational had to take precedence over the intuitive, the emotional and the soul.
‘When we are told what is mentally ill we are being told what ideas, behavior, and fantasies are wrong.”
It really disturbs me when you going to a institution and when you say you have issues with them they want to label you as outrageous, angry, irrational,. A man who was doing some professional services for me, who works with a firm he touted as being “nation wide,” said that he didn’t want me to interact with the person who I was doing business with because sometimes I “blow up.” I told him that the only time I “blow up,” is when people do stuff that they know isnt genuine and they know isn’t honest. Then when I react with either anger or disgust. They say something is wrong with you, why do you act like that? And what I’m learning is there is a tremendous amount of energy out there whether conscious or unconscious that needs to repress any sort of individuation and individuality. Makes me want to go out and collect that Pablo Picasso art that just like blows you away with the color.
You know, like my friend Monica’s blog said the other day, our anger is appropriate and we just have to channel it into those areas that can make it so it doesnt have to dominate. Maybe we then can be recognized as individuals, for being interesting, unique and something, just by the fact that we are!
One of the things that I’m learning is how we are disconnected from culture. How our culture is gone. I am sorry, if “honey boo-boo”is culture we’re screwed.
123 R.V. Forgiveness is for all, even corporate America. We dont need their permission though
All quotes by James Hillman.