I was out today in the hustle and bustle off big city life. I am so sorry, but unless people were at Peets(my favorite coffee shop) they seemed to not acknowledge the existence of others. I love to do my sociological experiment and smile at everyone I see. I dont do it out of some sort of arrogance, but to try and make connections with people.
Life is beautiful. I got to go to my favorite men’s AA meeting this morning and hang out with my favorite friend this afternoon. What we both noticed was that the longer we looked at people and the less they looked back, the more isolated we were feeling.
“Our life is psychological, and the purpose of life is to make psyche of it, to find connections between life and soul.” I struggle when I judge my reality by the outside world to find soul. Yet everyone always comments how loving I can be. The issue always seems to be that my mind wants to say that because I am not connecting with people the way “that I think I should,” that I am not worthy or I am missing something.
“If our civilization suffers from hubris, from ego inflation and superbia, psychology has done its part. It has been looking at soul in the ego’s mirror, never seeing psyche, always seeing man. And this man has been monotheistic Reformational man, enemy of images.” I have always felt that ever since the Reformation and the the Industrial Revolution, that we are more disconnected from our selves than ever. Ever since the father had to leave home the family unit has suffered. I am not saying that the mother has done anything wrong. Since the socializing structure has put much of the responsibility onto the mother to socialize the children, the balance of energies has been upset and we all suffer because of it. How we can change this is beyond my simple mind. My ego wants to tell you that I have answers, but I know better than that.
If normal is seeking satiation of primary needs to justify my existence and to judge whether I am a worthy person of Ggod’s love, I am screwed. If seeking to find a solution to the depression that many, many of us suffer, then I will have done what I am here for.
One of the best qualities I have is my ability to be tenacious. When I was practicing law, I was known as the “Pit Bull,” where I practiced. I would make sure everyone knew that I was going to do whatever it took to get a good result for my client. As a criminal defense attorney sometimes that meant to put my needs aside to be just and fight for people who I didnt particularly like. But I did it The D.A.’s who I went up against knew it. I worked hard to get the best result’s for my client. I believe that I did.
Now I am working to help those people who didnt even do anything against the law. They, like me, just suffer with a silent, hidden disease, Depression. People call it mental illness which connotates to that we are crazy. Many people look at me when I talk about it and cant bear to look me in the eye when I am talking. I know, I can see it. Bless them. My life is beautiful! Just like yours!
123. Forgiveness is loving someone even when they are not being nice. Permission is about trying to get people to act how you want them to.
All quotes by James Hillman