There is maybe 1 in 100,000 people who are truly happy. We have been “programmed not to suspect, not to doubt, just to trust the assumptions that have been put into us” by our traditions.
When I think of how much sadness, disconnection, apathy I see when I walk down a street in a major city, this makes sense. We are walking around almost zombie like.
My dear friend Renee said at one point a little while ago that she would rather be dealing with zombies than to have to deal with the issues that keep us from experiencing a joyful and contented life. That sucks.
Today I dont feel depressed, but I damn sure dont feel so overly hopeful and I am a far cry from happy.
I was watching a TED talk today and the presenter was talking about the search for happiness and how we seem to think that attaining pleasure as a constant state is not attainable, and yet we continue to think that if we are not happy as measured by that criterion, something is wrong with us.
“I can no longer distinguish clearly between neurosis of self and neurosis of world, psychopathology of self and psychopathology of world.” My first response to there being a problem in the world that is bugging me and it is me that has the problem. It is me that is the cause of my dis-ease and it is me that is going to have to pull myself up by the boot straps.
This is the manifestation of the failure to distinguish the self from the other. It started out as not being able to see myself as being separate from those who served as my role models. Now it is about anyone else who is either in my inner circle or was in my inner circle being the measuring stick for my emotional health. Wait it is anyone else who either has it better than I do in my mind or is worse off than me.
I am sitting here and realizing in this moment that one of the biggest indicators for me of my depression is my inability to concentrate and/or focus. No wonder I feel like I cant do any “profound reflection,” to see if it the pathology I am exhibiting is mine or is ours.
Ggod please help me focus more on getting better.
 Carl Jung  James Hillman Anthony DeMello,Way to Love: Discipleship