I am writing here today to talk about the fear that I am going through. I am almost finished with my application to graduate school, actually I am just 2 letters of recommendation short. I can have the letters written in a day, and have people to write them for me, but I am sitting here in fear. I am so close to what I want to do, to really help people like us who us who struggle with these confusing, scary dis-eases labeled as “mental illnesses.”
“The pendulum of the mind oscillates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong.” You see it makes no sense to get a Ph.D. I am too old, I wont have time to really contribute to healing the world and anyway there are way smarter more aware people than I trying to help the world. I would just be repeating what they are already saying and therefore it makes no sense to try to do it.
“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.” I dont believe in the dominant paradigm. Neither my culture’s nor the norm throughout the world of “mental health.” I think we, and I use that term for the world, have lost the ability to REMEMBER why it is we are here. In our zeal to seek comfort over all other facets of life, we have lost the ability to connect with those around us. We have lost the ability to expose our vulnerabilities to those who we interact with. We seek intimacy in our partners and with our children but those are just a few people and they are not necessarily the most unbiassed people when it comes to helping us change and grow.
I am amazed that I have all of this fear and that more than anything else, I at times cant see it or over come it. I am glad that I sat down this morning and typed this out on the keyboard instead of using the voice activated software. It made me really think about what I am saying instead of turning on my mind and getting into my brainiac mode as the fanatic calls me.
123 RV. Forgivness comes from our hearts and souls, why I need permission to give it to myself?
Quotes by C. G. Jung