A Fanatic’s Maybe

cute-kitten-prays   It’s impossible to curl up any tighter
Frozen under my blanket
Vulnerable
Alone
Sadness makes me cold
Maybe if I become smaller

I will be less of a burden
Maybe if I bury myself
Dig deep into the mattress
The voices won’t call
Maybe if I stay silent
Don’t let my feelings surface
They will disappear
Maybe if I slowly shut you out
Anger you
Frustrate youswans-floating-lazily-worchester-imgur
You will love me less
Then my guilt will not
Hold as much power
Maybe if I pack my bags
Relieve you of my chaos
Admit you deserve more
Allow you to carry on
You will find peace once again

Maybe if I give in
Surrender to the demands
No longer fight this battle
Oblige the voices
I too will find peace
And cause us harm no more

123   Forgiveness comes from experience, permission comes from lack of experience.

100_1608finger touching nose of baby

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2 thoughts on “A Fanatic’s Maybe

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