It is what it is!

stubborn-look1 “Relationships fail not because we have stopped loving but because we first stopped imagining.”

That has always been the case for me. When a person gets boring to me, then I stop imagining about them.  No, I  hate to say it, I really think I stop imagining how wonder full the relationship is first and then the person gets boring to me. That is sad.  What is it that happens inside of me that precipitates this kind of thinking?

7-12-13-dahlia-jpegI boil life down to two primary places we come from, love or fear.  So either it is fear about them or maybe it was really about love for me?

Maybe I can learn to know when things have run their course and it is time to move away from that relationship and move to the next level of growth.  It is always so hard for  me to do.  I usually have it end up negative, i.e.  end in a fight, “misunderstanding” etc.  I am sad that I have the capability to just walk away from a relationship like I do.

6-28-13-coneflower-jpegThis is not me espousing my opinion that we should only have relationships for fixed periods of time. One of the hardest things for me is not to have a family of origin to continue to reflect life off of and to use as some sort of constant bedrock or benchmark. They all live within an hour of me.

7-5-13-zinnia-jpegBut don’t cry for me Argentina!  My poor family suffers so, so much that I would not be taking care of me by being around them. It would be more of a constant chirping than I already have going on in my mind!

5-30-13-anemone-jpeg“I don’t think anything changes until ideas change.”  We have stopped imagining that there is something positive about “struggles,” “dis-ease,” or the term that I hope to never use again, “mental illness.”  I suffer from emotional conflicts that are deep down under my consciousness and they drive the whole show if they are left unresolved. It really is not about my brain, but it is about my mind.  I know that there are those who are going to say that they are inseparable, but I am not convinced of that.

5-27-13-cosmos-jpegSince we operate of out of one of those two places, either fear or love, we have decided to look at the struggles we go through as negative.  Who decided that?

Why do we stop imagining and then relationships end?  What is it?

2-11-13-rose-jpegWe stop because we don’t want people to see our issues, our fears.(See an earlier post I did called “The Root of “It,” if you want to know what I am talking about)

“If you want to change the world, you have to change the metaphor”[1] This is what I propose.  We don’t have mental illnesses any longer. There is nothing wrong with my mental processes.  I can still write a mean sentence and articulate a point verbally pretty darn well. Remember I am PG 13 here!

2-8-13-lily-jpegI think what I have is an emotional dis-ease.  We keep saying that we have mental illnesses.  What does that mean?  That I don’t act normally?  (sorry, been there done that) That there is something wrong with me mentally?  What is it then?

Okay, okay.  Enough

The relationships I have had in my life all ended negatively except my Dad’s and I and he died!  Well, I guess I get to keep working on getting better at them then.

All quotes from James Hillman except [1] Joseph Campbell

All the flowers are from Carol at

baby-owl-learning-to-fly-peter-brannonfinger touching nose of babywolf yosemitestanding baby

On the top of the post is Bruno,(so named by the Fanatic) the stubborn (according to Ajaytao) new birdie shaman who will appear in protective oversight of this blog occasionally along with  J2(baby owl), Pointy boy, Baron(the wolf) and Dancing baby who are all pictured above.  Do not mess with Bruno, cuz despite how he looks he is very forgiving.  He wont give you permission though.



11 thoughts on “It is what it is!

  1. I can see where your thinking is coming from and i admire your heart, but for me, bipolar is very much an illness, and i think it needs to be given credit as such. People with bipolar often feel so much guilt because of the actions it causes, isolation, poor communication, not turning up to things, not replying to people, and the reckless behaviour it causes as well. I think it pertinent to view it as an illness because it changes the way we act, it affects our life and changes what we do. I know there’s always the question of what we would be without it, how much of our behaviour is really the bipolar and how much is just who we are, and that’s a tough thing to figure out. But I often counsel friends who feel guilty, i say to them ‘if you had cancer, and the side effects of having cancer meant you couldn’t make a friends wedding, would you feel bad for not attending the wedding?’ they always say no, because cancer is a ‘tangible’ disease, but bipolar isn’t? I personally think it is, it just isn’t given credit as such. I’m in no way disagreeing with your thoughts, just expressing my own 🙂

  2. What I have learned in the short time of reading your work is you are not mean. I love it when we can look at things from different perspectives. I invite discussion, debate, differences.
    I learn more with my mouth not moving than with it moving.
    I hear you loud and clear. I dont want anyone to think that I dont act out of my emotions. Fanatic calls it emotional regulation. That is what I struggle with in my depression.
    I am also not saying that I am done with the depression, that I am cured. What I am saying is that when I do the work, and I have been working hard for the last 2 3/4 years, that the condition can change. My knee jerk response to stimulus, even though still present, isnt as strong.
    I mean, they give us meds to make it so we dont have the highs and lows. I dont want the lows, nor do I want the unrealistic highs.
    I support you having the reality that you have. I truly do. I am only holding out hope that we can see this as an emotional imbalance that manifests itself mentally, thats all.
    I always love to read what you write and I am glad you and I can disagree and still like each other. Whew!!!

  3. Thanks for including the flower photos Jim. As for relationships, I don’t even really know anymore. Acceptance is a big thing…and so, to me, that would mean loving someone for what they truly are, regardless of imagination. It’s a difficult thing to make anything work these days. I just feel that if you look for all that is good about another person and keep that in your heart, then maybe it can work…although it hasn’t yet. OMG, you can laugh now. 🙂

    • Carol, I would never laugh at someone who has the courage to talk about the Pink Elephant in the middle of the living room. I think your line ” I just feel that if you look for all that is good about another person and keep that in your heart, then maybe it can work,” says it succinctly and with way less words than I would use.
      I admire your willingness to be vulnerable and say what is true for you about a topic that we all struggle with.
      Thanks and I love putting your flowers up. They bring me joy!

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