“Take a look at the world and see the unhappiness around you and in you. Do you know what causes this unhappiness? You’ll probably say loneliness or oppression or war or hated or atheism. And you’ll be wrong. There’s only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, believe so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them. Because of these false beliefs you see the world yourself in a distorted way. Your programming is so strong and the pressure of society so intense that you are literally trapped into perceiving the world in this distorted kind of way. There is no way out, because you do not even have a suspicion that your perception is distorted, your thinking is wrong, and your beliefs are false.
Look around and see if you can find a single genuinely happy person – – fearless, free from insecurities, anxieties, tensions, worries. You would be lucky if you found one in 100,000. This should lead you to be suspicious of the programming and the beliefs that you and they hold in common. But you have also been programmed not to suspect, not to doubt, just to trust the assumptions that have been put into you by your tradition, your culture, your society, your religion. And if you are not happy, you have been trained to blame yourself, not your programming, not your cultural and heritage ideas and beliefs. What makes it even worse is the fact that most people are so brainwashed that they do not even realize how unhappy they are – like the man in a dream who has no idea he is dreaming.
What are these false beliefs that block you from happiness? Here are some examples. First: you cannot be happy without the things that you consider so precious. False. There is not a single moment in your life when you do not have everything that you need to be happy. Think of that for a minute. The reason why you are unhappy is because you are focusing on what you do not have rather than what on you have right now.
Another belief: happiness is in the future. Not true. Right here and now you are happy and you do not know it because your false beliefs and your distorted perceptions have got you caught up in fears, anxieties, and attachments, conflict, guilt and a host of games that you are programmed to play. If you would see through this you would realize that you’re happy and you do not know it. Yet another belief: happiness will come if you managed to change a situation you are in and the people around you. Not true. You… squander so much energy trying to rearrange the world. If changing the world is your vocation in life, go right ahead and change it, but do not harbor the illusion that is going to make you happy. What makes you happy or unhappy is not the world and the people around you, but the thinking in your head.
As well search for an Eagles nest on the bed of the ocean, as search for happiness in the world outside of you. So if it is happiness that you seek stop wasting your energy trying to cure your baldness or build up an attractive body or change a residence or job or community or lifestyle or even your personality. Do you realize that you could change every one of these things, you could have the finest books and the most charming personality of the most pleasant of surroundings and still be unhappy? And deep down you know this is true but still you waste your effort and energy trying to get what you know cannot make you happy.
Another false belief: if all your desires are fulfilled you will be happy. Not true. In fact it is these very desires and attachments that make you tense frustrated, nervous, insecure and fearful. Make a list of all your attachments and desires and each of them say these words: “deep down in my heart I know that even after I have got you I will not get happiness.” And ponder on the truth of these words. The fulfillment of desire can, at the most, bring flashes of pleasure and excitement. Don’t mistake that for happiness.”
The words above are from a book called The Way to Love: The Last Meditations by Anthony DeMello
It is better to seek forgiveness than it is permission. 123 Fanatic!