The first idea that comes up for me after I wrote that down is, “When am I not talking to Ggod?”
All the gods, all the heavens, all the hells, are within you [i]
What I have learned in this process of walking through the unexpressed emotions, the basis of my depression which I have run from my whole life, is that all of that “stuff,” but I’ve been running from is, “films about ghosts.” So all of what we call “evil,” are just thoughts. So if all I have inside of me to fear is just thought, then the Ggod damned demon is just a thought.But Ggod is not a thought. I believe in what Joseph Campbell says when he says that Ggod is a metaphor for all that is beyond intellectual.
On the subject of Ggod.
“If Ggod is beyond duality, you cannot say that Ggod is a “He.” You cannot say Ggod is a “She.” You cannot say Ggod is an “It.” [ii] My friend Ray said it best one morning in a meeting when he said, “If Ggod’s not a he and Ggod’s not a she, then Ggod has to be a transvestite.” That cracked up the whole meeting. And who can say it’s not true?
It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure. [iv] Therein is Ggod. That is the treasure. It does not mean that the journey itself is a treasure. What I have had to go through the last few years has been arduous at the least, hell at it’s worst. A relationship with myself that is an attempt to live how I believe Ggod wants me to live is the reward. Being of maximum service to Ggod and my fellows is a creed I am working to live up to.
Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again. [v] Probably the biggest tool I have used in the last few years to get me through my depression is something that allows me to go to “sacred space.” If you want to know what I’m talking about, go back and read a post earlier entitled “Anom Cara.” I am not talking about a non-emotive, transcendental zen way of meditating. If the goal of mediation is awareness, then I had better start becoming more aware of what is going on in my body and not just whats floats around in my mind. What does go on in our bodies? How does depression affect it or how does what is in our body affect our depression.**
And all you have to do to transform your hell into a paradise is to turn your fall into a voluntary act…..joyful participation in the sorrows and everything changes[iii] I chose to fall into my depression. Now that I write that I don’t know if I, “chose to,” fall into my depression as much as I didn’t have a choice since I couldn’t function in the outside world any longer.
As Chuck Yeager said, when you find yourself in a freefall, go faster. It’s antithetic to make this statement using the paradigm we use today. That is probably the best evidence I can give to you of its effectiveness. I invite you to find that place, for you, that you can call sacred space. I have found mine and it saved my life.
[i-v] Joseph Campbell*My friend Jerry said this the other night.**As is my discretion, if you want to know what my healing process is you can write me privately. I choose to do it that way because I don’t believe that anyone knows anyone else’s healing process. The best advice I can give you is, “I don’t know,” what you should do.